I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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