Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
