Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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