love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
