Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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