It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
