it wasn't lemon gatorade
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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