I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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