If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
