I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
