how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize