Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just want to make out with him forever
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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