just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize