Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
