So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
