So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Still dying that you shit outside
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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