If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize