Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize