Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
