just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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