He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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