Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
