my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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