Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
