I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
