Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
