just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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