it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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