ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
