my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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