Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
