He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize