I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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