Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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