If i come over, it means nothing
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
