i already hear my dad disowning me
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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