i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
