I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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