Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
