He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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