Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize