You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize