I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
