the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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