you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
