My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
