Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
