Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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