A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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