i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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