I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
