I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
