I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
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worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
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Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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