Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
