I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
