i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
