idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
