Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
