yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
