How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize