You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
