JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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