I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
