just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
