im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
