I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
