I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
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dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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